The Grind Part 5 - Recognize, Revive, and Survive

 

Recognize, Revive, and Survive

“Old habits die hard” as the saying goes. Sometimes when we are working through the grind, old stuff from the past can come up and creep back in to our minds. Self-esteem and self-confidence problems, guilt and shame, resentments and a host of other negative emotions and mood states can seemingly pop up out of nowhere, sometimes when we least expect it. Therefore, it essential that we have a plan in place to survive these moments, intervals, and episodes when they rear their ugly presence and disrupt our mental peace and stability. Often the simple passing of time using our coping tools can be enough to sustain us, but on occasion we need to employ our emotional survival plan to push on through and keep on grinding forward with positive motivation and momentum toward ongoing inspiration and progress.

Questions:

Who can I turn to help me get back on a good track when I am starting to feel like negative thoughts, moods and feelings may be starting to get the best of me or disturb my peace of mind?

 

What self-soothing and self-coping strategies work for me when mentally or emotionally things look like they may start to take a turn for the worse?

 

What is my safety and survival plan if things get out of control (For example, when thoughts and feelings become potentially unsafe or unmanageable. Specifically: What is the action plan?)

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Common Goals

 

  From - https://bigbraincoach.com/benefits-of-goal-setting/

Common Goals

 

Introduction – This interactive exercise is focused on identifying and discussing goals as a group and then sharing goals that we have in common with others. Then, after the opening exercise, each group member will have the opportunity to email their future self with some encouraging goal statements based on this exercise

 

Common Goals Opening Exercise

 

Directions – Set up a group order and allow one person in group to go at a time. When it is your turn, share a goal statement with the rest of the group. Some life goal areas are provided below to help group members come up with ideas. Once the goal statement has been shared with the group, others in the group should make comments based on the following choices:

 

A.  Common Goal – This is a goal you also share and want for yourself

B.  Maybe one day – This goal is not one you share now, but it sounds like something you may consider

C.  Interesting but not for me – This goal sounds interesting, but it isn’t something you have on your radar

 

Keep in mind it is important to be encouraging and motivating to one another. So negative statements about other people’s goals such as “that’s stupid” or “that’s impossible” or “that’s crazy” or any other negative remark is to be avoided in this group.

 

Life Goal Areas – Any personal goal statement is appropriate for this exercise, but these are some life goal areas just to help with ideas

 

o   Family

o   Relationship/Social

o   Employment

o   Educational

o   Career

o   Financial

o   Legal

o   Physical

o   Health/Medical

o   Fitness/Exercise

o   Emotional/Mental Health

o   Personal (Hobby or other personal interest)

o   Recreational/Experiential

o   Spiritual

 

Remember, good goal statements are SMART:

 

Closing Exercise – Letter to My Future Self

 

Directions – Everyone in the group should choose 2 or 3 goals statements from the previous exercise that stand out as meaningful. Use a smartphone with email (or if this is done at a facility, then it would be helpful to have a computer or tablet available for group members who do not have smart phones.) – 

Go this website:

https://lettertomyfutureself.net/write-letter

 

 

Group members should take a few minutes to draft an inspirational letter based on their goals and enter it onto the “letter to my future self” website – However before hitting SEND, group members should read their inspirational letter to the rest of the group. After sharing it with the group, then his send to have the letter emailed to your future self at a time interval agreed upon by the group (such as 1 year into the future)

 

Your inspirational letter to your future self will appear in your email inbox at the time you selected today

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Yankee Swap Icebreaker

 

Intro – This is a group cohesion building activity focused on giving imaginary but meaningful gifts in a group setting. This activity follows a “Yankee Swap model with the following directions. Many people know how to do a Yankee Swap already so if there is anyone in the group who knows the rules, it would be good to have that person help explain the rules. Here are the rules for a Yankee Swap explained:

Set an order for group members to take turns by selecting someone to go first with others following in order from there. The first person should pick one of the gifts from the list and read it to everyone. After the first person reads their gift, the next person has the option to either a) select a new gift from the list or b) take the already selected gift from the first player. If he or she decides to steal the gift from the first person, that person then gets to unwrap a new gift.

This continues with each consecutive player. For example, the third person then has the choice to either a) also select a new gift or b) steal from any of the already selected gifts. Keep in mind that the person whose gift is taken can only select a new gift—he or she cannot swap at that point. This goes on until each person has gotten a chance to pick a gift.

Gift List   - Remember, do not read the gifts out loud until they are selected. A person can select a gift by saying the gift number then after selecting the gift, read the description

Gift 1	Acceptance to and paid full scholarship to any college or other educational program in the world
Gift 2	Clean slate – Free lifetime full expungement of legal record, license restored, all fines paid
Gift 3	An all-expenses paid one-week family vacation anywhere in the world, yearly for life
Gift 4	Get to be lifelong friends with a celebrity (You pick who)
Gift 5	Lease a new car every 3 years for life, fully paid
Gift 6	Lifetime personal supply of one type of food
Gift 7	The person with this gift finds the love of their life
Gift 8	Get to select topic and star in a feature film with multimillion dollar budget
Gift 9	Get to be CEO of large corporation
Gift 10	Free clothes for life, provided you wear them yourself and don’t sell or give them away
Gift 11	Unlimited startup money for one year to start your own successful business
Gift 12	Your children all guaranteed to grow up with successful careers to the best of their ability
Gift 13	You get one mistake erased from your past
Gift 14	Free entry and front row seats for 2 to any professional sporting event for life (non-resalable)
Gift 15	Get a one-hour call to make suggestions to the president once per month for the rest of your life
Gift 16	Part time personal assistant 5 hours/day for life
Gift 17	Heal one person (besides self) of a chronic illness or condition
Gift 18	Remove one physical defect or injury

 

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Event Planning to Prevent Setbacks

 

Event Planning: Preparing for Upcoming Events to Prevent Setbacks

Background: This activity is designed for active preparation for an upcoming event that may be challenging to deal with as related to substance use and co-occurring mental health issues. Often events can bring with them various triggers and other obstacles that can make it challenging to maintain a course of progress. It makes sense to plan ahead when a challenging event is on the horizon so as to prevent setbacks.

There are many examples of the types of events that can qualify for use of this exercise – Review:

Holidays – Or celebrations

 

Anniversaries - (Either positive or negative such as anniversary of a loss)

 

“Firsts” – First date, first day at new job, first day at school, first time going somewhere sober, etc.

 

Social events – Meeting new people, meeting people from the past, large gatherings, being around people we don’t know, etc. Knowing we are going to have to be around certain types of people and places can also be a challenge, including:

People who are intimidating, rude, mean, ignorant or aggressive

People who we feel like we may have “unfinished business” from the past

People we have not seen in a while, and we do not know how they are going to react today

People whom we have a negative or traumatic past or history with

Places associated with substance use

Places associated with emotional stress, trauma, or bad memories

General life situations where we know there will be pressure to use

 

Performances - Public speaking for example or anything where we may be “in the spotlight”

 

Challenging or anxiety inducing appointments – Court date, important doctor appointment, etc.

 

Other - Any event that is known to be coming up soon that is has factors that could derail a pattern of progress can qualify for this activity. Some issues of concern may be events that trigger the following:

Past trauma

Difficult emotions

Anxiety

Insecurity/Self-esteem struggle

Anger or fear inducing

Activity – Choose an event using the list on the previous page that needs Event Planning to Prevent Setbacks - Then fill out your own answers on the last page and then discuss what you came up with

 

There are three columns to fill out in the grid:

Potential Setback Factor – Anything that can set you off, lead to difficult emotions or urges, or put you in the general wrong direction that you may encounter at this upcoming event. These can be seemingly positive situations as well such as celebratory feelings or excitement.

 

Impulsive & Emotional Reaction- What negative reactions might you need to watch out for? These are the reactions that happen when we don’t think or plan ahead. What might you do when you are not prepared?

 

Planned & Practical Reaction – Think now about what an effective way is to handle this setback factor if you should you come across it. What is a positive plan that you can follow to avoid trouble? Think of coping skills and supports that you know work for you

SAMPLE:

Event: “Going back to visit my family for the first time since I stopped using drugs recently”

Potential Setback Factor - Old friends may hear I am back in town and reach out to invite me to go places that I know I should stay away from

Impulsive & Emotional Reaction - Just give in and go and see the old crew and worry about the consequences later

Planned & Practical Reaction - Prepare some refusal statements ahead of time like “I can’t go out with you, I promised to spend time with my parents” Also don’t answer unknown phone calls and texts

As a group decide if everyone is going to do the same event (like a holiday if one is coming up) Or else everyone can come up with their own event based on their own lives. Fill out the chart on the following page while trying to come up with the best plan that you can. Discuss your Event Planning grids as a group.

Shorter version – The group can fill out one grid collectively as a group instead of everyone doing their own

Name/Type of Event (Use list from first section) _______________________

Potential Setback Factor 1 –

 

Impulsive & Emotional Reaction 1-

 

Planned & Practical Reaction  1 – 

______

Potential Setback Factor 2 –

 

Impulsive & Emotional Reaction 2-

 

Planned & Practical Reaction  2 –

______

Potential Setback Factor 3 –

 

Impulsive & Emotional Reaction 3 -

 

Planned & Practical Reaction  3 –

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Defining Addiction

 

Defining Addiction

People have been trying to come up with a good definition of addiction for a long time. The above definition was adopted by the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) in 2019 and many people feel that this definition seems to work for a variety of reasons. Review and discuss this definition of addiction below and share your personal thoughts and experiences

For each aspect of this ASAM definition of addiction listed below, answer the two following process questions as a group. Everyone is invited to participate and give their opinion however try to be open minded and flexible in this discussion to avoid arguing. Rather share and discuss these points to increase awareness and share views:

1.  Do you agree? (Why or why not?)

a.  For example, in the first item “Addiction is treatable” – Do you agree and believe that addiction is a treatable condition? Why do you feel as you do?

2.  How does this apply in your personal situation and experience?

a.  For instance, in the first item “Addiction is treatable” someone may say answer this question in this way, for example: “I think that addiction is treatable because I am living proof as treatment has helped me a great deal. I believe that I definitely have been really improving my life since I entered treatment…”

 

Discuss the following aspects of the “Definition of Addiction” below by answering the two discussion questions for each item – Items for discussion are underlined

 ·      Addiction is treatable: Treatable, adj. - “Able to be healed”

·       Addiction is chronic: Chronic, adj. – “Persistent or long lasting (Not acute)”

·       Addiction is a medical disease:  Disease, adj – A disorder or harmful condition in a living thing

·       Addiction is complex: Complex, adj. – Not simple; complicated

o   Addiction involves interaction between several factors:

§  Brain circuits – Addiction affects and impacts the “wiring of our brain” including decision making and overall mental health 

§  Genetics – There are hereditary factors in addiction as we can inherit addictive traits

§  The Environment – Our surroundings in life can impact the likelihood of addiction as well as recovery. The world around us can have an impact on the processes of addiction and recovery. Where we live and whom we live with and associate with play a role.

§  Individual Life Experiences – What we live through and go through in life, both good and bad can impact addiction and recovery. Trauma can be a potentially harmful factor while positive experiences, supports and opportunities can be protective factors which enhance recovery

·       People with addiction:

o  Use substances – What was your use like? 

o  Engage in compulsive behaviors – Compulsive, adj.- Driven by obsession – How did this apply to you? 

o  Continue despite harmful consequences – Consequences, n. – Outcomes of negative behaviors - what kinds of consequences did you experience and for how long did you keep using?

 

Closing questions:

What are you going to take away from this discussion? What stood out the most to you?

 

How can some of the things you discussed today help to motivate you to make positive changes in your life?

 

OPTIONAL EXERCISE – Defining Addition Crossword

 

Many of the addiction related terms used in this worksheet have been uploaded into a crossword puzzle which can be accessed online using the following link - https://crosswordlabs.com/view/defining-addiction 

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"The Grind" Part 4: Comeback

COMEBACK

The grind, that is life, will knock you down from time to time. Like a fighter, you may get knocked out for a few seconds but it’s up to you to never let them count to 10 and count you out for good. To successfully grind it out, it’s important to be able to get up from the canvas no matter hard you get hit. People who successfully keep on grinding are those who are able to find a way to keep on fighting until the final bell.

Often, it’s not over when you get up from a knockdown. You may feel dazed or confused from the blow that life stuns you with. Still, once you are on your feet again it essential to try not to go down again. To do that we at times need to change our strategy and modify our technique. We bob and weave, duck and cover, jab and run, and do whatever we can to stay in the arena that is life. Never give in or give up the fight, That is how we grind out until the victory!

Questions

How can you be prepared to avoid getting knocked out by life (Who or what can help you prevent experiencing a knockout punch?)

 

When life knocks you down, who or what helps you get back up? How can you adjust your strategy to keep on standing?

 

Why is life worth keeping up the fight for even when we need to change up our approach to prevent another knockdown?

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The Gratitude Grid

 

THE GRATITUDE GRID

Directions – Fill out the following 16 space grid by writing down at one thing that you are grateful for today in each space. Feel free to put anything or anyone you want in any order as long as it is something that you feel appreciation, thankfulness or gratitude for

Process

This Gratitude Grid will be discussed in somewhat of a “game” format as the group should follow the instructions of the group leader and then discuss thoughts and feelings related to the instructions – See below for explanation

Instructions for Counselor/Group Leader for processing the “Gratitude Grid”  -

 

Read each instruction below to the group. Make sure to pause in between each instruction to discuss thoughts and feelings related to each action listed below.

1.    What do you like best about what you wrote in box A1?

2.    How would you think and feel if someone stole or took what you wrote in box B2?

3.    If you got into a legal situation that limited your contact or exposure to what you wrote in box C3 how would that impact you?

4.    If you had money to spend to help or improve what you wrote in box D4 what would that be like for you?

5.    Look at what you wrote in box A2 – What is one of the first things that comes to mind?

6.    Which would be harder to live without, what you wrote in box A3 or B3?

7.    If what you wrote in box A4 became the primary focus of your life for the next month, what would your life be like?

8.    How would you protect what is in box B1 if there was danger or risk involved?

9.    What do you see in the future for what you wrote in box B4?

10.  Is there any relationship between what you wrote in box C1 and box C2? If so, what?

11.  How would you describe box C4 to someone who you never met?

12.  Look at box D1, D2 and D3 – Which one of those means the most to you of the three and why?

13.  If you got to choose to improve or enhance or help what is on any box, which would you pick and what would that improvement be?

14.  What is one thing in your grid that you need to give more attention to in your life?

15.  Are there one or two things in your grid that stand out as the most important of all?

16.  What is one thing in your grid that you need more of in your life?

17.  If you were to relapse related to substance use, how would some of the things in your grid be negatively impacted?

18.  When you are doing well with substance use and mental health recovery, what are some things in your grid that truly improve a great deal?

19.  What is something from your grid that you could show even more appreciation for?

20.  Pick one thing in your gratitude that you have not shared about yet – Tell the group about who or what it is

21.  As this group ends, what are one, two or three things in your grid that you are going to leave here today and try to actively think about over the next several days (in a positive way)

Additional Information: Discuss if there is time

 

 

The Grateful Eight – 8 Ways to Become More Grateful

 

 

Use your senses and be observant – Take extra time to really look at things in life you want to be more grateful for

 

 

Daily Reflection – Wake up or go to sleep thinking about things you want to be more grateful for

 

 

Keep a gratitude journal

 

 

Watch your words – Try to use more thankful and grateful language while trying to minimize complaints and criticism

 

 

Change from “I have to” to “I get to” – Increase gratitude by expressing things as a privilege rather than a chore For example “I get to pick up my kids today!” instead of “I have to pick up my kids from school today”

 

 

Consider what it would be like not to have things – For example if you want to be more grateful about your job, try to focus on what it is like not to have a job

 

 

Use visuals – Pictures in our surrounding can help us remember to be grateful

 

 

Reframe perspective – Things could always be worse – For example, if you get a flat tire, instead of focusing on how stressful it is to get a flat tire, reframe it and think to yourself “if this is the worst thing that happens to me today, this is still a pretty darn good day!”

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