Picture this: Something is wrong…You feel anxiety and depression increasing
lately, but you cannot assign it to a specific stressor. Your feelings are increasingly
uncomfortable and difficult. What is making it worse is that you are not sure
what is really bothering you. Maybe you can identify several things that could
be triggers, but it is not clear in your mind what the real deal is. This state
of not knowing why you feel this way may even be making you feel even more anxious
and depressed.
Have you ever felt this way? Sometimes our mind wants a direct
answer to our struggles and problems as if a puzzle piece is missing and we need
to just identify the missing piece and then put everything back into place. As
if this will suddenly make everything all okay at once. Unfortunately, when living with chronic mental
health or substance use issues (or both) sometimes we may feel this way. So, if you find yourself grinding through
life in this way, then here are some thoughts of things to do especially when
you don’t really know what exactly is going on and what you should do to make
it better.
Not
everyone will be able to identify with what is being described here. However,
there are certain people who will know exactly what this phenomenon feels like.
Either way, when reviewing this information, try to take away what you believe will
be helpful to you mentally. Below are some thoughts to consider for recovery
and positive change in difficult situations:
Review and discuss
the following points:
· Knowing why
a problem is happening can be helpful in solving that problem. However, it is
not necessary to know the cause for you to start to get better. For example, if
someone breaks their arm, it can be helpful for the doctor to know how and why
the arm was broken, but it is not necessary for the doctor to know that in
order to fix it and put it in a cast for the arm to heal.
· Sometimes
mental health just “flares up” similar to other health conditions. Compare
depression, for instance, with a physical back problem. Sometimes someone with
a bad back will be sore from doing too much physically the day before but there
are other times their back may hurt for no identifiable reason (aka a sudden
flare up of back pain). The same is true of mental health issues like
depression. Sometimes a clearly identifiable event or situation can trigger a
depressive episode and sometimes it may feel like there is no specific reason for
a depressive “flare up”, just like the bad back example. For substance use issues
this can also happen with cravings that seem to come up without a clearly
understood trigger. Direct causes at times can be hard to identify.
· Part of
living with long-lasting or chronic mental illness or substance use issues involves
learning to keep moving forward during unexpected challenging episodes. The
issues we face may slow us down, but we can do a lot to keep unexpected
challenging life situations to stop us from making progress. Sometimes we may
bend without letting ourselves break.
· Acceptance
is key. Learning to accept that if you have mental illness or substance use
issue may be easier on some days will be than others. There may be good phases
and not so good ones. Accepting the fact that the change process has ups and downs
can prevent discouragement and disappointment. It may be helpful to accept the
fact that challenging episodes come up in life once in a while and sometimes even
unexpectedly.
Coping
Skills and Strategies for When We Don’t Understand “Why” We May be Struggling:
Partialize
to avoid being overwhelmed: When mental health or substance use
cravings flare up unexpectedly, then enhance your focus on taking life one day
at a time, or even one hour at a time if needed.
·
Ask yourself – How will I get through this day? This hour? Etc.….
What do you say to yourself?
Stick with
your coping routine as best you can: There may be a temptation to “take days off”
from our positive routine when we are struggling but that can be a huge mistake.
·
What is your routine? What are at least three things that help
you maintain during difficult times? (For example, exercise, talking with
positive people, reading, etc.)
1.
2.
3.
Upgrade
your support over isolation – We may need to force ourselves to reach out when we do not feel
like it during challenges. Isolating can make things much worse and using
supports can be the difference maker – Who are three people you can reach
out to for support, advice or just to vent or talk things out?
1.
2.
3.
Consider
professional help. Counselors can help and at times the struggle may need medication
or a medication adjustment. Some signs that consulting a helping professional
is needed:
ð
Appetite and sleep impacted. Weight loss or gain can be a sign
help is needed as well as insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much) Fatigue
and severe loss of energy can also be signs.
ð
Prolonged feelings of “emptiness” or significant loss of
motivation and drive. Lowered self esteem or persistent negative thoughts that are
difficult to cope with or control.
ð
Thoughts of not wanting to live any more or urges to hurt self or others.
Dangerous risk taking or compromising safety. Aggression, suicidal thoughts, or
self-harm
ð
Persistent difficulty with competing daily tasks like going to
work, taking care of chores, paying bills, etc. Overall level of functioning is
decreasing due to current condition.
ð
Consistent urges to isolate, detach, and disconnect from our support
group and social routines.
ð
Difficulties managing feelings, thinking, moods (perhaps with mood
swings or anger outbursts), irritability, loss of purpose or focus, and an
overall persistent sense of instability, restlessness, or insecurity.
ð
Feeling unsafe, unpredictable, or out of control due to our
condition
Finally,
when we are experiencing a challenging phase and we don’t understand why, make
sure to reconsider our sources of strength, courage, and motivation. What
works?
What helps
you to keep going during challenging times?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Finally,
the most important thing during times like these is to keep going. Accept that these
difficult stages sometimes do happen, as life has its ups and downs, but do not
give up or give in. Even when we cannot figure out why something is happening
or what exactly is wrong, we can make a conscious decision to use what we have
available or whatever is within our reach to survive and thrive despite unexpected
challenges.
Discuss final
takeaways from this exercise:
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