The Grind Part 16 - Deep, Difficult Feelings: Dissect and Deal

 

Deep, Difficult Feelings: Dissect and Deal

Warning: This exercise tackles some difficult topics that some people just may not be ready for. This exercise should be done in a supportive and safe environment. There is a degree of insight and experience needed to honestly ask and answer some of these difficult questions.

COUNSELORS: Please watch introduction video before using this exercise 

VIDEO LINK - https://youtu.be/nvlSdT4t84E

Intro: Something is wrong, and you can’t describe it. This feeling is lingering, and it won’t go away by itself. Why do you suppose it can be helpful to identify and name your feelings especially in times like these when you aren’t fully sure what is going on? Thinking of this logically, whenever there is a problem, it helps to better clarify what that problem is. Examining our feelings can help us open a doorway of insight and self-awareness into our own minds. This can put is in a better position to cope. Like the way a mechanic diagnoses what is wrong with a vehicle that isn’t driving right, it can be helpful for each of us to dissect our own mental state by first understanding and then even naming our difficult feelings when something does not seem right. This can then help us to choose a correct course of action to cope and make healthy decisions.

The hard part of this process is asking ourselves honest questions about our innermost feelings and then providing honest answers. This can be very difficult and for most people it takes practice. The process of acknowledging the ugly truth can at times feel…. ugly. Still, when we are honest with ourselves and face the truth, then the coping and healing can take place at a deeper level.

There are too many difficult feelings to cover each one, however this list categorizes some of the most common challenging feelings followed by some insight questions to ask ourselves.

If this is being done as a group, read each feeling and the questions that follow. Pause and discuss as a group:

Have I ever felt this way?

Can anyone share an example of a situation where you have felt this way?

What helps you when you feel this way?

Something just doesn’t seem right, and I can’t seem to get past these lingering feelings…Ask yourself:

 

Am I feeling INSECURE?

Ø Am I worried people will think less of me?

Ø Am I concerned that people won’t like me?

Ø Am I thinking I will be rejected, teased, made fun of, or left out?

 

Am I feeling RESENTMENT?

Ø Am I still angry today because of something that happened in the past?

Ø Do I feel an urge for payback or revenge?

Ø Am I still hurt by things that happened with this person prior to this current situation?

 

Am I feeling JEALOUSY

Ø Do I feel negatively because I really want what another person has?

Ø Do I feel like I got cheated and someone else got what think that I really deserved?

Ø Do I feel like another person is gloating or bragging and it secretly is getting to me even though I don’t want to admit it?

 

 

Am I feeling FEAR?

Ø Do I want to seem strong on the outside but actually I am feeling intimidated?

Ø Do I feel an urge to lash out just to show someone else I am not afraid (but I really am?)

Ø Am I worried that if I show vulnerability I will get hurt?

 

Am I feeling INADEQUATE?

Ø Do I feel like I am not good enough, but I don’t want others to find out

Ø Am I thinking that others will see I am a fraud or an imposter if they look closely enough?

Ø Am I trying to be confident on the outside when on the inside I have self-doubts?

Ø Do I feel like I have failed or disappointed myself or others?

 

Am I feeling OVERWHELMED?

Ø When I think about everything going am I feeling like it’s way too much for me to handle?

Ø Is my brain on overload with everything happening but I don’t want others to see?

Ø Am I getting angry or acting out toward others because inside I am really frustrated that I don’t really know how I can tackle all of these issues at once?

 

Am I feeling ASHAMED?

Ø Am I concerned that if people knew the real me in this situation I will be judged?

Ø Do I feel excessive guilt even to the point where I feel bad about myself, or I don’t measure up?

Ø Am I having trouble forgiving myself for what I did or what happened to me in the past?

Ø Do I feel like the truth about something I did or something I am keeping secret will be exposed?

 

Am I feeling HELPLESS?

Ø Do I feel like no matter what I try to do it’s not going to work?

Ø Do I feel like I don’t know where to turn?

Ø Am I feeling like I just don’t have the ability to handle what is happening or about to happen?

 

Obviously, there are more feelings than these but still by learning this process of introspection and self-questioning, we can empower ourselves to deal with what is going on. Even if it can be painful at first, when we honestly search and acknowledge our real feelings, we can get the help we need to work on things from the inside out.

Closing questions

 

Can you see the value in doing an honest self-examination of your feelings? Why?

 

 

What areas stood out as things you may need to take note of in the future?

 

 

How can you get help and support for some of these challenging feelings

 

 

What can help you to cope?

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