It
is critical to remember that insight is not a fixed state of consciousness.
Actually, insight is a lot like a window that closes and opens with changing
life experiences. Someone may have a full understanding of an issue one day but
after only a few days or weeks later, excuses can creep in as to why what was
once believed to be true no longer applies. The window of self-awareness can
therefore open and close as our level of insight changes in differing
circumstances
Things
that OPEN the Window of Self Awareness:
Honest, self-reflection: Asking yourself the
tough, soul searching questions can open up your window of self-awareness if
you take the time to ask them, and more importantly display the courage to
answer them honestly. Some examples:
Am I really doing all
that I can do to improve?
Instead of blaming
others, what can I actually do to make things better?
What role did I play in
that situation? What could I have done differently?
Playing “Devil’s
Advocate”
– It is natural to think of all of the reasons why you may be right when it
comes to certain issues. It can be much more challenging to really consider the
possibility that you may be wrong. You can learn from being open minded in this
way. Consider the following example
Thought – “Other people keep
telling me I have an attitude problem. They don’t know what they are talking
about, I’m a nice person - I am fine, they all just need to shut up and leave
me alone”
Same Thought reframed
for self-awareness-
“With all of these people telling me I have an attitude problem, maybe I should
think about how I am acting and what I am doing that gives people that idea.
Maybe I need to adjust the way I speak to people”
Consequences – One of the positive
things about consequences is that when something negative happens as a result
of our choices and behavior, it can be a wakeup call and open the window of self-awareness.
Consider these examples:
“I was late to work
again after a night of drinking and now I am in trouble with my boss. I
promised myself I wasn’t going to let that happen again but I did. Maybe it’s
time to consider taking an honest look at my drinking”
“I told my significant
other I would get help for being depressed but then I didn’t. I called out of
work again to sleep all day because I was too depressed to get up. I think I
may need help this time”
Things
that CLOSE the Window of Awareness
Time – Sometimes just the
passage of time can trigger a false sense of security. A person may feel
motivated to change something one day but then if that motivation is not
nurtured, with time it can fade
Excuses – Blaming,
rationalizing etc. – Making excuses is usually just a way to deny or deflect
reality. Excuse making is often rooted in an effort to avoid responsibility for
one’s own role in a situation and therefore avoid responsibility for being part
of the solution
Self-Deception- Similar to making
excuses, people can close the window of insight by simply lying to themselves.
Refusal to recognize the truth by burying your head in the sand just keeps the
window of awareness closed thus preventing the “light” of self-awareness and
reality from shining in
Discuss as a group:
Can you
describe what it is like for you when your window of insight is open?
What
about when the window closes? What is that like for you and what can be the
cause?
ALSO
