Most people
are quite familiar with the concept of “hitting bottom” which has been
associated with addiction for decades. Fortunately more and more people are
coming around to the reality that a person does not have to “hit bottom” (e.g.
reach their lowest point in life) in order to get better when it comes to an
addictive issue. For some people that is how it worked: they hit their bottom
and finally decided to change their lives for the better. That still does
happen. However, the point is that one does not have to hit bottom first in
order to get better. Many people finally make the positive lifestyle changes
they need at all different kinds of points in their lives, not just after
reaching that lowest point, hitting bottom. Simply put: Hitting bottom is not a requirement for recovery.
There is
another concept out there that is very common but less well-known in the world
of substance abuse and addiction, which may actually be more harmful for
people’s lives than hitting bottom. This is something that young people who are
abusing substances should pay special attention too. What we are talking about
here is the idea of “topping out”
which can really ruin a person’s life in the long term. What is topping out and how does it happen?
When it
comes to substance abuse and addiction, in many young peoples’ lives there can
be that interval where life can be pretty exciting. Not everyone who abuses
drugs goes on a rapid downward spiral right away. Often, there can be many
years of a truly extravagant lifestyle when someone is caught up in the life
associated with partying, drinking and drugging. Often it is this period of
excitement and excess that keeps luring young people back to the world of drugs
and alcohol. Going to clubs in the city into the wee hours of the next morning,
engaging with multiple sex partners, fist fighting strangers in alleyways,
running all night on crazy cocktails of mixed substances, illegally obtaining
then spending exorbitant amounts of cash like its water, are all examples of
the allure of this “party” lifestyle often associated with getting high for
many youth. The problem with living the “wild life” is that unless you are a
multi-millionaire, that lifestyle is almost always temporary. Sooner or later
the consequences eventually catch up to everyone. Sooner or later, this life of
excess and extremes becomes too costly, emotionally, physically, legally and of
course financially to maintain. Therefore, once an individual has reached that
point in their life where the fun times have become impossible to sustain on
any regular basis, that person has likely “topped out”. Therefore by
definition, “topping out” refers to reaching a point where life will never be
the same again. Someone who has topped out is doomed to keep looking back at
the “good old days” which will never return. The person who topped out has only
one choice and that is to change and reinvent his or her life, often from
scratch or close to it, or else face a life of feeling like a “has been”. A
person who has topped out is in a situation where their “ship has sailed” so to
speak, especially with regard to their dreams for the future. A simple way to
illustrate topping out would be comparing it to someone who maxed out all of
their credit cards and blew their credit and then for the rest of their lives
that person is stuck paying back the bill with little left to show for
anything.
Most
substance abuse counselors have had the experience working with younger
individuals with the “live for today – eat and drink for tomorrow we shall die”
lifestyle in which there is little done toward striving for real life goals and
little or no sense of planning for the future. It can start in adolescence when
a kid stops trying in school at young age, choosing just to party, get high and
have a good time as long as his or her parents will let them stay home.
Substance abuse counselors who also work with adults see the other side of the
coin when someone has “topped out” and that individual’s money is all but gone,
they can’t get a decent job due to felony convictions, no one will lend them
any more money, most bridges are burned, and sometimes even their good looks
and charm have faded as life has beat them down to looking tired and broken
down. A person in that situation may still be in their 20’s or early 30’s but
because they topped out early and blew all of what they had going for them,
often when they compare themselves with their peers who did not “top out” they
are way far behind. Someone who topped out by age 25 may see their peers from
high school working good jobs, building careers, working toward buying homes,
owning and driving nice cars, and working on building families, while they
themselves are still on mom’s or grandma’s couch trying looking for odd jobs
that don’t drug testing or do background checks, which these days are few and
far between.
By
contrast, someone who is older who has experienced some kind of success in life
almost always can speak to the fact that they made sacrifices in their youth to
get where they are today. A person can still have a degree of fun in their
youth and even look back on their younger days with a lot of great memories,
however, the person who avoided topping out, usually made sure to keep some
priorities in order besides just having a good time. Getting an education,
working, saving, doing internships and obtaining various degrees and
certifications are often examples of things achieved in youth that are part of
the building blocks for a self-sustainable future that those who “top out” in
youth may start doing but often let fall by the wayside in favor of having more
time for thrills and excitement along the way. The difference, of course, is
that the person who stuck with their goals from youth into adulthood has built
a foundation for a stable and more enjoyable adulthood. The individual who
topped out early, is left in adulthood facing the world behind the eight ball
often empty handed, unprepared and under-skilled.
So getting
back to the main point: While it may be useful to discuss the concept of hitting
bottom in substance abuse treatment, it is also of equal value that young
people be forewarned of the perils and pitfalls of topping out early in life.
Often the best favor that a young person in the substance abuse game can do for
their “future self” is to cut their losses early and pull things together
before it is too late and they reach a point where they blew their proverbial
cookies with nothing left to show for it. Surely hitting bottom can be a
devastating event, but topping out, can be an extended multi-year process that
is fun while it lasts but brings with it longstanding repercussions and regrets
that can last a lifetime.
To end on a positive note, either
as a group, or on your own, review the following questions for thought and
discussion:
After reading this, get honest with
yourself – is there any possibility that you may be on a life course now in
which you are not giving enough consideration toward making absolutely sure you
have a positive long term future?
Where do you see yourself in 5
years?
What are some real life changes you
think that you might need to start focusing on more now, in order to achieve
the future you want for yourself? (Come up with 2 or 3 specific constructive
and realistic ideas for yourself)
Try to imagine your future self,
looking back at you current self, right now. What do you think your future self
would say to you to get you on the right path? What would your future self say
to you about your substance use? (Do you think your future self would tell you
to cut it out or at least slow it down so you can make something out of
yourself?)
Of all the things that have been
discussed to this point, what is one thing you can start doing today – (or as
soon as possible) and stick with it - to start building a better future for
yourself?
A clear, printable version of this blog post for group therapy is available at:
