If your aim was to tell the world how great chocolate ice
cream is, would you focus primarily on trying to convince others that vanilla
tasted lousy? Most people would say “of course not” and spend more of their
energy getting people to taste and experience the joys of chocolate and then go
onward from there. This is kind of a silly example but it is a way to
illustrate an all too common phenomenon in today’s world. What I am talking
about here is the tactic of trying to convince others of one’s opinion simply by
breaking down opposing viewpoints. Consider some real life examples:
>The sports fan who
spends the majority of the game taunting the other team’s fans and telling them
that their team sucks instead of focusing on rooting for and supporting his own
team.
> The politically
inclined person who constantly breaks down the opposing party’s policies and decisions
in an effort to ty to prove them as foolish or misguided, while never really
making a reasonable case why his own political viewpoint is helpful or
beneficial to society.
> A person who develops
a methodology for helping others with some kind of personal struggle (such as
an addiction or mental health issue) that in reality is just based on poking
holes in existing methods by explaining why they may not work, while instead
neglecting to clearly outline another course of self-improvement that really does
work.
>A person who spends
time making fun of or undermining others beliefs (such as religious or other
spiritual beliefs, for example) while remaining vague and unclear with regard
to a better explanation as to why their own beliefs might provide an improved
framework in the ongoing search for meaning and purpose in life.
Of course there is value in challenging and questioning established
beliefs, methods, ideas, viewpoints, etc., that we may not agree with. Many
things can be learned by objectively cross-examining, testing and carefully scrutinizing
opposing sides to the story. Nevertheless, the point being made here is that
one’s primary objective should never
be to break down others but rather it is so much more useful to build up. I am
a firm believer that if a person’s principal mode of teaching, convincing, or persuading
others of their viewpoint is based on criticism and generating doubt then that
is a red flag when it comes to deciding if this is a person worth listening too
for any extended period. Because once the criticism, disparaging and denouncing
is all done then the real question is, what is left? In other words, if the
main focus is all about tearing down over and over, then in the end, aren’t we
all just left with a pile of rubble at our feet and nowhere else to go? Instead,
questioning, challenging, investigating, protesting, and confronting viewpoints
and beliefs that we do not agree with should be counterbalanced. What so many
of us are really searching for is a healthy dose of encouragement, instruction,
guidance, enlightenment, and coaching toward healthy alternatives that brings
with it a tangible hope for something better.
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