“The Feeling”
Fortunately,
some people who will read this will not understand what “the feeling” is, which
is actually a very good thing, because “the feeling” is a not such a good thing.
Others, sadly, who have felt “the feeling” will know exactly what their
personal version of “the feeling” is once they hear more about it. So, you are
better off if you don’t know what “the feeling” is. But if you do know, maybe
this can help?
What is “The Feeling”?
“The
feeling” is a different experience for everyone. “The feeling” actually is not
just one feeling, but it is a conglomerate of many different troubling feelings
and other unsettling thoughts that can blend together ominously to surround a
person like a dark cloud rolling in over a sunny day. “The feeling” can be any unique
combination of negative emotions and thoughts including (but not limited too) –
Examples below
Anger – Fear –
Discouragement – Disappointment – Self Doubt – Insecurity – Self Loathing –
Worry – Dread – Sadness – Regret – Confusion- Discomfort – Doom – Tension –
Burden – Suspicion – Uneasiness – Indecision – Overwhelmed and Unappreciated
As
stated earlier each person’s unique experience with “the feeling” includes a
very personal array of a portion of the above feelings in any given
combination, often depending upon the timing and what is going on in life at
any given time. “The feeling” is both mysteriously dark but strangely intimate
for each person who feels it.
“The
feeling” can appear at any time. You can be watching a movie and all of a
sudden, “the feeling” comes over you. You can be driving your car, or walking
down the block, at work, or out on a date or even sitting around laughing with
friends, when out of nowhere, “the feeling” can enter your stream of
consciousness. Something negative may happen and you may feel the feeling
coming on slowly, yet at other times you may be feeling just fine and then:
Boom! – “The feeling” creeped up on you and took over. “The feeling” can be
like an evil monster that comes to visit your consciousness every now and then,
sometimes when you expect it and other times completely unforeseen and
unpredicted – but always unwelcomed.
“The Feeling” and
Addiction
It
is unlikely that anyone has ever scientifically studied “the feeling” (but they
probably should). If scientists did research more into “the feeling” they
likely would discover that many people who use or abuse drugs and alcohol do so
to escape “the feeling” Just having a few hours or even a few minutes to be free
of “the feeling” or to send it away for a time, could be a driving force to get
high, to forget, to clear away “the feeling” from your brain for a little while
so you can just be you and be okay for a time. If you have felt “the feeling”
surely you can understand.
The
problem is, however, that doing drugs isn’t a long term answer to rid yourself
of “the feeling”. In fact the longer you do drugs in an effort to escape, the
worse “the feeling” can become. It’s a lot like using a credit card to pay your
bills. A credit card temporarily pays the bills but in the long run you only
accrue more and more bills until you have so much debt that you have no credit
left and there is so much to pay, that you run out of credit and then it will
take years to pay it all back. It works the same when you get high to escape “the
feeling”. Getting high works in the short run, but it takes more and more to
get high to get rid of “the feeling” which then costs more money and takes up
more time only causing more stress, fear, and dread, anxiety which only then makes
“the feeling” come back even stronger and more often. People spend years trying
to run from “the feeling” with drugs and alcohol but “the feeling” never truly
goes away, it just waits for you when you are broke, tired, confused and
overwhelmed again, which inevitably happens repeatedly when you are caught up
in this vicious cycle.
Breaking Free from “The
Feeling” Naturally
Sometimes
when people first stop using substances, they may feel good for a while but
then they may get stumbled if “the feeling” comes back in spite of a period of no
longer using. That is why the process of getting better is more than just
stopping using, but it is about positive
change. Breaking free from substance use issues is an essential part of the
puzzle but there is so much more important, challenging but extremely rewarding
work to do. The change process is what finally makes “the feeling” go away. For
some people, even when you are doing the right thing, “the feeling” may peek
its ugly head back in to your brain every once in a while. But when you develop
the tools and you have the right plan in place, you can learn to escape the
feeling without having to run to a drink, a pipe, a needle or a line to get
that quick fix to try to get away. When you finally take the time to listen and learn, and then practice and apply what you need to do, you can break free from “the feeling” and
finally let the sun shine in your life through good times and in bad, through
struggles and through triumphs. You can find lasting shelter from the black
cloud that is “the feeling”
Questions
for Discussion
1. Can you identify with the idea of “the
feeling”?
2. What is “the feeling” like for you?
3. How have you used/misused substances in an
effort to cope?
4. Have you found yourself in a negative
cycle as described above?
5. What has helped you?
6. We all want to feel better- but for you
personally, what is your hope?
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