Did you ever watch the same
movie a second time even though you knew the ending was tragic and sad? If you
feel for the main character in the film, watching the movie the second time can
be a painful experience especially if you find yourself wishing that this time
everything could work out instead of watching the tragic ending all over again.
Another similar real life example would be witnessing a young person who you
care about follow a course that you know ends up in a bad place, like failing
in school or getting in trouble with the law at an early age. Maybe from your own
experience you know how the story of that “movie” ends.
What about you? Are you
following some kind of proverbial “script” that common sense may say will likely
lead to an unhappy ending? Obviously there are exceptions to every rule when
someone follows an unwise or unhealthy life course but it still works out okay
(Like for instance the 95 year old woman who smoked 2 packs of cigarettes per
day for her whole life and never got cancer) Still, using common sense (which
at times ain’t too common) and being honest with yourself, try to think about
how some of these all too common stories end:
Johnny struggled with alcohol
use problems for decades but now after a solid period of abstinence says he is
going to go out with the boys again to the bar and just drink sodas
Sally finally kicked intravenous
heroin and has been sober for 3 months but she convinces herself that she is
just going to sniff a bag now and then just to relax and that’s it
Mary has been broken up with
her on again off again boyfriend who emotionally abused and cheated on repeatedly
for years but she is considering meeting up with him again because he swears
that “this time he’s changed”
Perhaps you are thinking to
yourself, “I get it but those types of things can’t happen to me, I know better
than those people” and hopefully that is true. Still, many of us have at least
one challenging life struggle or experience in which we may have put our hand
in the fire repeatedly before we were fully convinced that we would get burned,
only to still do it again a few more times anyway before we really learned our
lesson.
With all of this in mind,
trying to be as honest, insightful, open and self-aware as possible, discuss
some of the following:
PAST – Do you have a life
experience from your past in which you may have neglected to see the signs or
fail to listen to the advice of others, telling you that you were headed in the
wrong direction?
(Example – “When I was a kid,
everyone told me to put more effort into school and stop hanging with people
who got into trouble and now as an adult I feel like I could have been much better
off if I had just listened back then)
PRESENT – Is
there a life area now that you may be struggling with in which you have a sense
of concern about where things may be headed but you are having difficulty
changing anyway?
(Examples – “I get so
depressed over how much debt I am in, but then I still keep on spending and
wasting money anyway and it just gets worse and worse” – “I have a pattern of getting
into bad relationships over and over again and as I keep promising myself I won’t
do it again but then I find a new one and it starts all over”)
FUTURE – Comparing your current
life circumstances to a movie, what can you do now in order to increase the likelihood
that your current situation has a happier ending?
