To get started, think about a situation in your life where you were doing everything right on the outside, following the rules and listening to suggestions, but at the same time inside you were dying to do what you knew is wrong. Some examples:
- Staying faithful in a relationship but inside dying to cheat
- Being a valued employee at work, but inside hating the job and fantasizing about quitting
- Abstaining from using a substance or other behavior but still inside yearning to go back to your old life again
These examples highlight the difference between what someone can show on the outside while what is really still going on inside.
Change on the outside is an excellent start. It is better to be doing the right thing even if you still want to do the wrong thing. However, real, lasting change, eventually requires change to happen with the person who you are inside. What does that mean to you?
Changing on the inside is not easy, especially when it comes to substance abuse and addition. Discuss the following questions to start thinking more about where you stand on the inside:
Distractions – What thoughts, if any, still pop up in your head that may not be so good for you?
Looking backward – Ever feel yourself romanticizing the “good old days” of getting high?
Future Fantasies – Do you ever catch yourself allowing your mind to think about scenarios where you could get high again and not get caught?
What has worked for you when it comes to moving on and letting go of those things that you deep down know are no good for you?
What more do you need to do in order to sustain real, lasting positive changes to the person who you are on the inside?